Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Love is…..


Photo of me in school learning to use the view camera
I have had a love affair with Photography for over 10 years now.  I knew Photography was one of my true loves; along with RTVF, communication, design, painting, jazz, entrepreneurship and helping people. (I am a multi passionate when it comes to the things I LOVE)
I felt I understood true love until one dreadful night. While staying at a friend’s house North Philadelphia, I was awakened abruptly from studying all night, to 3 unglued faces, with glassy eyes and disorganized gazes. I was confused by the looks on their faces. I rubbed my eyes, and slapped my face to gain visual clarity, and the first words that whispered out of my mouth were, "Is everything ok?”  My friend said No, I need to talk to you about something.  Can you come outside? I begin to feel my heart beating against my rib cage rapidly. We walked to the top of the stairs to head outside. He immediately glanced over to the area where my car had been parked and embraced me. He  proceeded to tell me that my car had been stolen.  What Oh No, I thought, WHAT…They cut through my club on my steering wheel?"  I started thinking it was no big deal; it’s just my car! We will call the cops, the bandits will be caught, and everything will work out….
Then I screamed with every available octave in my vocal chords; MY PHOTO EQUIPMENT!!! I begin to weep. My knees buckled and I dropped to the floor. I started to remember just how hard I had worked to obtain every piece of equipment!  Everything from cameras, lights, soft boxes, umbrellas and even back drops.  My radio equipment was also in the trunk of my car.  All these things I’ve obtained since college, so it was pretty rough to accept. I sacrificed missing tons of parties, traveling, and other things college students did for fun.”  I begin to think to myself, that I was an idiot for not taking my precious photo equipment out of my car after a photo shoot. Why didn’t I get insurance on my equipment? How crazy was I for just having liability insurance on my car?  All these  boggled thoughts went on in  my mind for days.  
As time went by, tthe gray cloud begin to darken.  The police were unable to find my car.  Everything I worked for to fuel that passion inside of me was gone!  At that very second, I thought love couldn’t be real! Whatever this passion or idea that seemed to be harvesting in my brain, was just a bunch of dog poop scooped up and dumped in the trash. It seemed like everything I loved or was passionate about was only a figmente of my imagination!
I felt like every time my life would move forward, I would be forced to take a step back.  I started to feel like with all the time and money I invested that it wasn’t meant for me to pursue anything I loved! Before photography, it was radio television and film, prior to that, it was painting and design. I just knew that the universe was telling me that this vision or love affair I had going inside my head, would never amount to anything. 
My fears kicked in and my love life was truly over.  All the gifts I felt like I possessed, and loved, died.
From there. I started having a plethora of flings with temporary things, just to pass time. I was trapped by fear.  I no longer trusted love.  I felt like I had invested in photography school, equipment, and even went to school for communications to learn multiple ways to merge photography with media. I had hoped that the police would catch the culprits.  Instead they told me that my car was one the top 5 cars to be high jacked and chopped up for spare parts.  “Lucky for me”, Yeah!!!!! (In my extremley sarcastic voice)  
My heart was broken, but it was mended back together by positive thinking, growth, maturity and understanding that with adversity  comes strength, wisdom, perseverence and determination.  These are all great qualities to develop when growing your own business.  Being able to be a Visual Communicator,  breathes from my pores like air to the earth.  Just like in love, things occur and you work to get over them, which in turn creates a relationship full of love and understanding.  Just because you are hurt or discouraged, doesn’t mean you give up on your true love. Put Your Love on TOP!!!!